Digging A Deeper Hole For Yourself
by AmberFox and Lyell
Summary: (One shot) What would happen if Vegeta gave Bulma a list of rules she must obay?


**Digging A Deeper Hole For Yourself by Lyell**

(Hi! My name is Lyell. I got all these little rules from an E-mail my Mum sent me, all about rules girls needed for guys. Or something. All I did was edit it a bit to suite his Highness's tastes and add one or two little things. That's all. I have been told that it was copied from someone else's fic, all I have to say to that is: WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK _THEY_ GOT IT FROM!?)

Disclamer: Yeah, and that ol' jazz! (AKA: I don't own, sue and die a manky and smelly death!)

"Woman!" Came a roar from the house. Bulma Briefs, inventor, genius and owner of one of the largest companies in the world rolled her eyes under her welding mask.

"What does he want _now_…!" She mumbled to herself, annoyed. Vegeta had just called on her to fix the gravity room, and now he wanted her for something else! "What do you want you insensitive prick!" She yelled back, lifting her visor and glaring out the rooms door from where she was kneeling beside the wall blaster she was working on.

"We need to talk." Vegeta, Prince of Saiyans and royal pain in the arse to Miss Briefs, said as he stormed into the GR with a scrap of paper in his hand.

"Talk? Now?" Bulma pulled off her mask looked up at her guest.

"Yes, Onna, now." Vegeta sat in front of Bulma, arms crossed and usual scowl on his face.

"Well? What?! I do have other stuff to do you know, like fixing the Gravity room. So get on with it!" Bulma ranted after a minute of the Princes silent stare.

Vegeta cleared out his throat. "Woman," He began. "as it seems that I am forced to stay on this miserable dirt ball you call a planet, I have written up a list of rule you are to abide by. Obey it and I might spare your worthless life later." And with that he got up and prowled out the door in his usual manner, leaving the paper on the floor.

"What the fuck is he thinking???" Bulma wondered when she had got over her shock of how arrogant Vegeta could get. "That flying peace of monkey crap!" She fumed to herself. "Treating me in that way! It's _my_ house he sleeps in, its _my_ gravity machine he trains in and its _my _food he eats!" She decided to take her anger out on repairing the GR instead of yelling at Vegeta again. 'He's probably out of hearing distance by now, anyway.' She excused to herself as she attacked the machine.

When the time came to pack up her stuff, Bulma felt a lot better. She had finished her repairs and even added a couple of special surprises for the Prince, most included Electrocution, fireballs and the pepper spray she had in her purse. As she put the last of her tools away she turned and saw a piece of paper lying on the floor. Bending over, she picked it up and read his angular hand.

_Rules of the mighty Prince Vegeta._

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,  
put it down. I need it up, you need it down. I do not wish to hear you  
screeching about me leaving it down.

2. Everyday is a training day. It is like the full moon or the changing of the  
tides. Do not interfere unless it is at my command.

3. Shopping is NOT considered training. And no, I am never going to think of  
it that way.

4. Crying is considered blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. Let me be clear on this one thing: Subtle hints  
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just  
say it!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every  
question.

7. Do not come to me with your pathetic human problems.  
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. Anything I said less than a month ago is inadmissible in an argument.  
All comments become null and void after 7 days.

9. Do not ask me to do anything, just do it  
yourself.

10. Whenever possible, say whatever you have to say during meal times.  
Do not interrupt my training.

11. Saiyan warriors do not ask for directions.

12. Do not ask me about colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. There is no such thing as mauve.

13. If I ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," I shall act like  
nothing's wrong. I know you are lying, but your just not worth  
the hassle.

14. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an  
answer you don't want to hear.

15. Don't ask me what I'm thinking, unless you are prepared  
to discuss such topics as Training, beating Kakarrot and his brat, or my becoming a Super Saiyan.

16. You have enough clothes.

17. You have too many shoes.

18. You are to never prepare a meal without help from your idiot mother.

19. You are to keep your mother away from me.

20. Karrarot, his brat, and the Harpy, along with your other pathetic human friends are not to come round while I am training. That means never! They have their own houses to stay in.

After Bumla read these words a small, sly grin appeared on her face. Reaching for her mobile, in her back pocket, she dialled a familiar number.

"Moshi moshi, Son residence."

"Hi, Chi chi? Do you think you could come over? I was wondering if you and I could take the guys shopping. Then we can all go to the cinema and catch a sad, romance film for a good cry. Then you can all stay over for dinner, I bet it would make a nice change from cooking it all the time… Don't worry, I'll be helping out…"

(Okay, now that's out the way, I'll thank you to review for this fic as I really need the feedback. Thanks! I hope you enjoyed!)


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